DEI frameworks often prime us to emphasize division and cultivate discord. The question is not whether racism occurred, but how it has occurred. This throws so many potential solutions out the window.
When we moved into a retirement community a few years ago, it took a long time for me to get past confusing one person with another. We were all old, gray-haired, mostly white people. Was this racism? Gee, I doubt it.
I love your insights, Angel. They make so much sense. But they might be more easily put into practice by removing them from the DEI framework. It is steeped in anti-racist rhetoric and has an aura of contempt for white people baked into it. It sounds like the training you received was better than most, but the underlying philosophy remained, especially when it comes to microaggressions and the assumptions about who is subject to them.
I'm relieved that your HR person didn't use their power to make your life miserable when confronting your uncensored personality. But is it possible that you were handled gently because you're a person of color? We’ll never know, but I can’t help wondering.
Microaggression is an interesting topic, worth addressing. I cringe inside when I remember doing exactly what you describe: at work, I once confused two Asian women with one another. One was a long-standing employee and the other was brand new, so your solution was right on the money.
In DEI, there’s an assumption that white people can only be perpetrators, never recipients, of microaggressions. I'm a fair skinned Jew, and apparently I "look Jewish," because strangers like to remind me of that fact out of the blue. As a child, I went to a day camp where I was one of a handful of Jews, and I was sometimes mistaken for the other Jewish girls who looked nothing like me. I'm a woman, so microaggressions and actual aggressions always were and will be a problem. And I'm a lesbian, so my short hair and gender-neutral clothes have often made me a target of homophobic threats, both physical and verbal, from both men and women. None of this is going to magically go away through “training.” A range of tactics and responses are required by me to get through life. I am sometimes wary, but if I walked around offended all the time, hating the human race, I'd be miserable.
Life is a collection of microaggressions and microkindnesses both given and received. If we love our fellow humans and want to have a happier life, it’s worth it to shine a light on our unconscious biases and strive to do better. But I don’t believe that DEI is the way.
The basic problem with DEI writ large is that it's race-centric. Race essentialism was one of the hallmarks of National Socialism, and we all know how that ended. I'm not saying DEI is the same thing, but there are enough common traits it should be deeply concerning. Othering is a key component of race essentialism, and the move by California to ask for lineage information from Black employees should be a wake-up call for every thinking person. We're inching toward a very slippery and dangerous slope.
DEI in the main is based on twin concepts of superiority and inferiority, and requires labeling of participants in that way. It's also exclusionary by nature (try mentioning things like the Sedition Act or the abuse faced by Irish or Italian immigrants in this country and see how far you get). Elements of DEI might have a place in a humanist framework, but as it starts I think it does far more harm than good.
I so hope we find another way. Human beings are conscious animals at the end of the day (which is why people still delight in ostracizing others to get to the top). The framework used at the moment creates racism by pushing people into "their" color group. It's weird and it's harmful.
Years ago, Dinesh D'Souza (I believe) included an anecdote about his adaptation to an American high school--something that embarrassed him. He'd asked a (white) girl out to the prom; he then ran into the same girl, or so he thought, and mentioned their date--and it took him a moment to realize he'd gotten the wrong girl. He was used to seeing persons of his own ethnicity. When I was growing up, I had a few Asian classmates but when I walked around Chinatown with my father, who was always on the hunt for Canton china, I thought: everybody has black hair. Everybody's eyes are the same color and the same shape. I felt I could not tell Chinese people apart, and as an eight-year-old, this worried me. Things seem quite different now--the markers I saw as a child, hair color and eye color mainly, seem accompanied by many others--but my point now is we should be free to say these things without feeling they are automatically signs of racism.
Aug 22, 2022·edited Aug 22, 2022Liked by Angel Eduardo
Nice article. I would go further than the title and opine that DEI never produces good results. On its face, these words (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) of course carry positive connotation that I'm sure everyone here would agree with. However, in context and in practice, these words are upheld as an ideological, almost religious framework that often goes coerced, thus resulting in the very opposite effect than these words imply.
DEI advocates would sacrifice the principle of true diversity (that of viewpoint, experience, talent, and personality) for ideological conformity.
They would sacrifice the principle of true equality (that of opportunity) for equality of outcome, aka equity.
They would sacrifice true inclusion (that of all people, despite background) for exclusion of people with the "wrong" heritage, race, class, or beliefs.
The pathway to hell is paved with good intentions, unfortunately.
Yes, in most instances, a "DEI" problem could be most effectively addressed by improving on issues that affect the organization as a whole well beyond the issue of DEI. In that way, DEI could actually have a net negative impact by diverting resources from more generally-applicable solutions.
Thanks for sharing your story and experience with the training. I’ve been in a similar position myself on numerous occasions. It takes courage to speak out and ask what seem like obvious questions and the blowback is almost always predictably bad. I have felt that being a “person of color” gives me some latitude to challenge the assumptions in poorly considered forms of DEI trainings. I also think we need a name to capture this decision to engage authentically and speak truth instead of nodding along to something you know is obviously wrong. Perhaps something is like to write about.
Aug 22, 2022·edited Aug 22, 2022Liked by Angel Eduardo
Interesting story--I will add this. Back a few years ago I was chattin' up a longtime friend of mine who happens to be black and another mama I know, whose son happens to be on the spectrum (I gotta kid like that too), came up to greet me and politely greeted my friend as well, after a moment of hesitation, with her wrong name (the name of another black mom in our community).
I corrected the error and introduced them and thought nothing of it until the second mama left and my friend said (the gist), "She has met me at least six times and ALWAYS gets my name wrong or asks for it like I'm a complete stranger. I'm so angry and offended--what, does she think all black folks look alike? Really? I'm like 4" shorter and a good 20 lbs heavier than that other mom...sheesh. Does she think it's not worth learning MY name because I'm not white or something? I'm so mad. Next time I won't even say hello back. I'm SO tired of this racist stupidity."
My friend was genuinely angry and she attributed this and prior incidents ALL to racism.
I empathized with my friend's understandably wounded feelings but added that I didn't think that other mom was racist--her son's favorite teacher was black and she was always very friendly to people of ALL colors. I said that I'd talk to her as it didn't seem like racism to me. So I did.
I went to the other mom and asked how after what I understand to have been SO MANY introductions she still was getting my friend's name wrong because my friend was very upset yet I know she (the mom to whom I was speaking) wasn't prejudiced.
This mom broke down in tears saying something close to this: " I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed. Well you know how my son has issues with facial recognition--part of being on the spectrum, right?" (Well, yes I did as my own older child had had the same issue and didn't even recognize me or my husband in a crowd until she was EIGHT). " Yes..." I said...
Through tears she said (approximately), " Well I have it too... I'm so embarrassed. I try to compensate. With people I see often I try to notice their purse or their shoes or something that they consistently wear that makes them stand out in my mind. It's all a trick I do to hide it. But I don't recall such details for anyone I meet every so often. It's like meeting someone for the first time until I recall facts about them--then those I remember, not the visuals. I don't understand it but I've always had it too, even though I'm not on the spectrum."
At the time this mom made her confession I actually knew of two OTHER people (one a teen, one a tween, both on the spectrum) who had facial recognition issues. I didn't know you could have this if you were NOT on the spectrum but I guess it's a "thing"...perhaps hereditary?
I went back to my friend and explained the situation . She took a deep breath and said OK... I'm sort of not buying it but for now... OK. Her expression was a bit skeptical, that I could see. Yet, I also saw a little bit of relief that maybe it wasn't racism after all... She knew I has some knowledge in the area...I'm CERTAIN if the other mom had admitted her challenge to my friend, without my intervention, that my friend wouldn't have bought it for a second...
This stuff happens too. When folks are SO intent about crying racism--they are not able to see other motives or reasons and are reluctant to let the race ball drop. This made me sad.
A bit of a strange end-of-story here. About two years ago this friend more or less canceled me for recommending FAIR. Indeed, TRUE STORY.
It happened after she complained about what she perceive as being "racism" in the comments section of an educational parent webinar we virtually attended (she found objections to CRT & 1619 curriculum racist, I found them justified and not racist...).
I'm grateful for FAIR but I know that some people who might most benefit won't even look... She actually REFUSED to even look. What a story, right?
In the 1970's, I was a blonde teenage ice cream scooper at the busiest Baskin Robbins in Michigan. It was a warm summer night, and the line was out the door. My co-workers and I were passing each other in the narrow work area behind the counter as we went from bin to bin piling cold balls of ice cream on cones or plopping them into cups. My customer, a black man, was scanning the labels on the bins, deciding on the flavor of the next treat, when he looked up and announced his decision to my co-worker, another blonde teen with her ponytail pulled through the back of her BR ball cap, just like mine. She looked confused, before I told him that I had been serving him. He quickly apologized. I told him not to worry about it because we all looked alike. The room had a good laugh.
Aug 22, 2022·edited Aug 22, 2022Liked by Angel Eduardo
Thank you for writing that, it reflects my experiences with DEI programs. I loved your idea of fostering more meet and greets during onboarding. I always thought it would be cool for companies to have a tool to randomly pair employees for a suggested 1-on-1 meet and greet on a weekly or monthly basis (can be done virtually). I am a big believer in the "mere exposure effect', fostering understanding by sheer exposure to others.
Also, I'd be curious to know what you think about networking groups based on racial identity in the workplace. I used to work at Nike where the DEI team there was pushing them hard. I thought they created more divisions than anything. To promote tolerance and understanding, I would think allowing people to come together based on shared interests or life stages (e.g. new parents) would be a lot more effective. It would cut across racial lines and allow employees to focus on what they have in common vs. how they are different.
Angel, I enjoyed your article very much. I do have a few questions and observations: 1)what exactly does racislized mean and how does one know if they are in fact racialized and is racializtion a good or bad thing, and 2) i am curious if your DEI training or other DEI training assumes that micro or macro aggressions can only go in one direction? I have lived my life not being unaware of racial or other differences but rather trying to not stereotype others and to reach conclusions about a particular person based on my interaction with them or what they have actually said, written or done. Am I wrong in concluding that that type of life approach or philosophy is not part of DEI training or that DEI training possibly condemns such an attitude and way of dealing with others. Finally, I will conclude by asking if there is an end game with respect to any of this?
What a beautiful essay. It's tenderness that is lacking in DEI training. Attendees are taught to be harsh and judgmental to others and by extension, themselves. This doesn't create inner growth or understanding. It creates fear. Fear that we will make a mistake and have the swarm attack. This isolates everyone involved and makes us afraid to express ourselves, makes us only allowed to be on the look out for offenders of acceptable behavior.
When we moved into a retirement community a few years ago, it took a long time for me to get past confusing one person with another. We were all old, gray-haired, mostly white people. Was this racism? Gee, I doubt it.
I love your insights, Angel. They make so much sense. But they might be more easily put into practice by removing them from the DEI framework. It is steeped in anti-racist rhetoric and has an aura of contempt for white people baked into it. It sounds like the training you received was better than most, but the underlying philosophy remained, especially when it comes to microaggressions and the assumptions about who is subject to them.
I'm relieved that your HR person didn't use their power to make your life miserable when confronting your uncensored personality. But is it possible that you were handled gently because you're a person of color? We’ll never know, but I can’t help wondering.
Microaggression is an interesting topic, worth addressing. I cringe inside when I remember doing exactly what you describe: at work, I once confused two Asian women with one another. One was a long-standing employee and the other was brand new, so your solution was right on the money.
In DEI, there’s an assumption that white people can only be perpetrators, never recipients, of microaggressions. I'm a fair skinned Jew, and apparently I "look Jewish," because strangers like to remind me of that fact out of the blue. As a child, I went to a day camp where I was one of a handful of Jews, and I was sometimes mistaken for the other Jewish girls who looked nothing like me. I'm a woman, so microaggressions and actual aggressions always were and will be a problem. And I'm a lesbian, so my short hair and gender-neutral clothes have often made me a target of homophobic threats, both physical and verbal, from both men and women. None of this is going to magically go away through “training.” A range of tactics and responses are required by me to get through life. I am sometimes wary, but if I walked around offended all the time, hating the human race, I'd be miserable.
Life is a collection of microaggressions and microkindnesses both given and received. If we love our fellow humans and want to have a happier life, it’s worth it to shine a light on our unconscious biases and strive to do better. But I don’t believe that DEI is the way.
The basic problem with DEI writ large is that it's race-centric. Race essentialism was one of the hallmarks of National Socialism, and we all know how that ended. I'm not saying DEI is the same thing, but there are enough common traits it should be deeply concerning. Othering is a key component of race essentialism, and the move by California to ask for lineage information from Black employees should be a wake-up call for every thinking person. We're inching toward a very slippery and dangerous slope.
DEI in the main is based on twin concepts of superiority and inferiority, and requires labeling of participants in that way. It's also exclusionary by nature (try mentioning things like the Sedition Act or the abuse faced by Irish or Italian immigrants in this country and see how far you get). Elements of DEI might have a place in a humanist framework, but as it starts I think it does far more harm than good.
I so hope we find another way. Human beings are conscious animals at the end of the day (which is why people still delight in ostracizing others to get to the top). The framework used at the moment creates racism by pushing people into "their" color group. It's weird and it's harmful.
Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket.”
Eric Hoffer
So true about DEI
Years ago, Dinesh D'Souza (I believe) included an anecdote about his adaptation to an American high school--something that embarrassed him. He'd asked a (white) girl out to the prom; he then ran into the same girl, or so he thought, and mentioned their date--and it took him a moment to realize he'd gotten the wrong girl. He was used to seeing persons of his own ethnicity. When I was growing up, I had a few Asian classmates but when I walked around Chinatown with my father, who was always on the hunt for Canton china, I thought: everybody has black hair. Everybody's eyes are the same color and the same shape. I felt I could not tell Chinese people apart, and as an eight-year-old, this worried me. Things seem quite different now--the markers I saw as a child, hair color and eye color mainly, seem accompanied by many others--but my point now is we should be free to say these things without feeling they are automatically signs of racism.
Nice article. I would go further than the title and opine that DEI never produces good results. On its face, these words (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) of course carry positive connotation that I'm sure everyone here would agree with. However, in context and in practice, these words are upheld as an ideological, almost religious framework that often goes coerced, thus resulting in the very opposite effect than these words imply.
DEI advocates would sacrifice the principle of true diversity (that of viewpoint, experience, talent, and personality) for ideological conformity.
They would sacrifice the principle of true equality (that of opportunity) for equality of outcome, aka equity.
They would sacrifice true inclusion (that of all people, despite background) for exclusion of people with the "wrong" heritage, race, class, or beliefs.
The pathway to hell is paved with good intentions, unfortunately.
Yes, in most instances, a "DEI" problem could be most effectively addressed by improving on issues that affect the organization as a whole well beyond the issue of DEI. In that way, DEI could actually have a net negative impact by diverting resources from more generally-applicable solutions.
Thanks for sharing your story and experience with the training. I’ve been in a similar position myself on numerous occasions. It takes courage to speak out and ask what seem like obvious questions and the blowback is almost always predictably bad. I have felt that being a “person of color” gives me some latitude to challenge the assumptions in poorly considered forms of DEI trainings. I also think we need a name to capture this decision to engage authentically and speak truth instead of nodding along to something you know is obviously wrong. Perhaps something is like to write about.
Interesting story--I will add this. Back a few years ago I was chattin' up a longtime friend of mine who happens to be black and another mama I know, whose son happens to be on the spectrum (I gotta kid like that too), came up to greet me and politely greeted my friend as well, after a moment of hesitation, with her wrong name (the name of another black mom in our community).
I corrected the error and introduced them and thought nothing of it until the second mama left and my friend said (the gist), "She has met me at least six times and ALWAYS gets my name wrong or asks for it like I'm a complete stranger. I'm so angry and offended--what, does she think all black folks look alike? Really? I'm like 4" shorter and a good 20 lbs heavier than that other mom...sheesh. Does she think it's not worth learning MY name because I'm not white or something? I'm so mad. Next time I won't even say hello back. I'm SO tired of this racist stupidity."
My friend was genuinely angry and she attributed this and prior incidents ALL to racism.
I empathized with my friend's understandably wounded feelings but added that I didn't think that other mom was racist--her son's favorite teacher was black and she was always very friendly to people of ALL colors. I said that I'd talk to her as it didn't seem like racism to me. So I did.
I went to the other mom and asked how after what I understand to have been SO MANY introductions she still was getting my friend's name wrong because my friend was very upset yet I know she (the mom to whom I was speaking) wasn't prejudiced.
This mom broke down in tears saying something close to this: " I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed. Well you know how my son has issues with facial recognition--part of being on the spectrum, right?" (Well, yes I did as my own older child had had the same issue and didn't even recognize me or my husband in a crowd until she was EIGHT). " Yes..." I said...
Through tears she said (approximately), " Well I have it too... I'm so embarrassed. I try to compensate. With people I see often I try to notice their purse or their shoes or something that they consistently wear that makes them stand out in my mind. It's all a trick I do to hide it. But I don't recall such details for anyone I meet every so often. It's like meeting someone for the first time until I recall facts about them--then those I remember, not the visuals. I don't understand it but I've always had it too, even though I'm not on the spectrum."
At the time this mom made her confession I actually knew of two OTHER people (one a teen, one a tween, both on the spectrum) who had facial recognition issues. I didn't know you could have this if you were NOT on the spectrum but I guess it's a "thing"...perhaps hereditary?
I went back to my friend and explained the situation . She took a deep breath and said OK... I'm sort of not buying it but for now... OK. Her expression was a bit skeptical, that I could see. Yet, I also saw a little bit of relief that maybe it wasn't racism after all... She knew I has some knowledge in the area...I'm CERTAIN if the other mom had admitted her challenge to my friend, without my intervention, that my friend wouldn't have bought it for a second...
This stuff happens too. When folks are SO intent about crying racism--they are not able to see other motives or reasons and are reluctant to let the race ball drop. This made me sad.
A bit of a strange end-of-story here. About two years ago this friend more or less canceled me for recommending FAIR. Indeed, TRUE STORY.
It happened after she complained about what she perceive as being "racism" in the comments section of an educational parent webinar we virtually attended (she found objections to CRT & 1619 curriculum racist, I found them justified and not racist...).
I'm grateful for FAIR but I know that some people who might most benefit won't even look... She actually REFUSED to even look. What a story, right?
In the 1970's, I was a blonde teenage ice cream scooper at the busiest Baskin Robbins in Michigan. It was a warm summer night, and the line was out the door. My co-workers and I were passing each other in the narrow work area behind the counter as we went from bin to bin piling cold balls of ice cream on cones or plopping them into cups. My customer, a black man, was scanning the labels on the bins, deciding on the flavor of the next treat, when he looked up and announced his decision to my co-worker, another blonde teen with her ponytail pulled through the back of her BR ball cap, just like mine. She looked confused, before I told him that I had been serving him. He quickly apologized. I told him not to worry about it because we all looked alike. The room had a good laugh.
Thank you for writing that, it reflects my experiences with DEI programs. I loved your idea of fostering more meet and greets during onboarding. I always thought it would be cool for companies to have a tool to randomly pair employees for a suggested 1-on-1 meet and greet on a weekly or monthly basis (can be done virtually). I am a big believer in the "mere exposure effect', fostering understanding by sheer exposure to others.
Also, I'd be curious to know what you think about networking groups based on racial identity in the workplace. I used to work at Nike where the DEI team there was pushing them hard. I thought they created more divisions than anything. To promote tolerance and understanding, I would think allowing people to come together based on shared interests or life stages (e.g. new parents) would be a lot more effective. It would cut across racial lines and allow employees to focus on what they have in common vs. how they are different.
Thanks!
Angel, I enjoyed your article very much. I do have a few questions and observations: 1)what exactly does racislized mean and how does one know if they are in fact racialized and is racializtion a good or bad thing, and 2) i am curious if your DEI training or other DEI training assumes that micro or macro aggressions can only go in one direction? I have lived my life not being unaware of racial or other differences but rather trying to not stereotype others and to reach conclusions about a particular person based on my interaction with them or what they have actually said, written or done. Am I wrong in concluding that that type of life approach or philosophy is not part of DEI training or that DEI training possibly condemns such an attitude and way of dealing with others. Finally, I will conclude by asking if there is an end game with respect to any of this?
Excellent piece, Angel! I really appreciated the balanced viewpoint you presented here.
Thanks Angel. Very balanced approach to this difficult topic!
What a beautiful essay. It's tenderness that is lacking in DEI training. Attendees are taught to be harsh and judgmental to others and by extension, themselves. This doesn't create inner growth or understanding. It creates fear. Fear that we will make a mistake and have the swarm attack. This isolates everyone involved and makes us afraid to express ourselves, makes us only allowed to be on the look out for offenders of acceptable behavior.